Josh’s career as a corporate wet rag took its daily toll on his fragile psyche, which usually led to several missed workdays a month. On the extra trying days, his mind swimming in regret, he’d reflect on younger times when he believed he would be the next Tom Cruise. Images of afternoons spent in his bedroom practicing dance moves in white briefs and a dress shirt or mimicking Maverick’s badass personae in Top Gun: "You don’t have time to think up there. If you think, you’re dead," reeled a dream far left behind.
Somewhere along the way, life turned on him and now his career was that of a thrill-less number-cruncher. Many a day he’d sit through hours of mindless meetings, unwarranted tirades from superiors and varying levels of contempt for the hoards of overweight coworkers with whiney attitudes, surly expressions and a 42-ounce Diet Coke clutched in hand.
Today, it made Josh cringe, forcing a desire to slap the ignorance out of every single one of them.
He desperately needed a drink.
The one person at work Josh could stand was Keri, a recent hire, whose laugh caused contagion and whose body, Josh believed, was that of a 12-year-old Dolly Parton.
They hit it off on Keri’s first day of work when she intuitively asked Josh if he had a boyfriend.
"Ummm ... no, not really," he replied. "I mean I’m sort of seeing someone, but it’s sort of complicated."
Nodding, Keri said, "Yeah, I get it. My husband’s a bit puzzling at times."
"How long have you been married?"
"Two years, three months, six days."
"That’s real specific."
"Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes he’s such a girl."
"Ah, a feminist are you?" Josh asked.
"Hell, I smoke cigars," Keri replied, a devilish smile on her face.
Josh sneaked up behind Keri at her desk, sucked his forefinger and stuck it in her ear.
"Aaagh ... don’t give me a wet willy, who knows were that finger’s been," she lightly demanded, drying out her ear.
"Let’s blow this Shallow Hal convention and grab a drink somewhere," Josh said.
"Not exactly a humanitarian are you?"
"Please, I steal candy from babies."
They ended up at The Trapp, a gay watering hole with a loyal late-morning clientele ... or maybe they just wake up on their barstool each morning with a cricked neck and a parched mouth.
Josh sometimes wondered if the rickety, weathered-wood structure that housed the wake-n-tank crowd could withstand an earthquake or a tornado, if another ever hit the city. It would be a real shame to lose another gay bar at the hands of the homosexuals’ venial and mortal sins.
Josh ordered a Bud Light from the boisterous bartender and asked Keri what she wanted.
"I’ll have a whiskey and coke," her reply aimed at the bartender.
"Damn, you got hair on your chest or something?" asked Josh.
"Probably less than you have on your ass," Keri retorted.
"Actually my friend, Eddie, is the one with a hair diaper."
"Nice visual, thanks. Is he your complicated someone?"
As they approached the doors to the patio, Josh noticed Eddie, Jacin, Kat and Jody through the ceiling-to-floor window.
"Well, why don’t you ask him yourself," he said pointing outside. "That’s him right there."
High octave chatter erupted as Josh opened the door to the patio. They approached the table; empty shot glasses — like chess pieces — were strategically placed. The overflowing plastic ashtray confirmed Josh’s suspicion they had been there awhile.
Jacin was the first to notice them and jumped out of his chair. Then in unison, Eddie, Kat and Jody ejected themselves from their seats, extremely spirited, as if they hadn’t seen Josh in years. They each offered overzealous hugs and sloppy kisses to Keri, as if they had known her for years.
Two more chairs were pulled up to the table, another round of Washington Apples ordered and the interrogation by Josh’s friends commenced: from "Are you Mormon?" to "Are those your real tits?" to everything in-between.
When asked about her husband, Keri dug into her purse, pulled out a wallet and flipped through some photos.
"This is him, my husband Mark," she indicated by tapping the photo and passed the wallet to Jacin.
When it made its way around the table to Josh, he immediately recognized the handsome man in the photo. His eyes pulled to the familiar cleft chin that he’s kissed and licked many, many times.
"Josh, are you okay," asked Eddie. "You’re looking paler than usual all of a sudden."
"Ummm ... yeah, fine," he quietly answered, handing the wallet back to Keri, unable to look her in the eyes. "I need to go to the bathroom, buddy system?"
"Sure," Eddie replied.
They had barely gotten over the threshold from patio to bar when Josh blurted out, "Keri’s husband is the guy I’ve been dating."
Eddie stopped Josh by grabbing his arm, looked him in the eyes and began laughing hysterically.
"Shit, Josh, befriending your boyfriend’s wife isn’t exactly keeping it on the DL," Eddie said, regaining composure.
"That’s just great, real compassionate of you Eddie," Josh said and stormed off to the bathroom.
"Of course you could ask Jacin’s wife, Jody, for pointers," Eddie called after him.
Josh gifted him with a little birdie.
To be continued…
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Desperation
A week had passed since the thorn of Jacin and Jody’s marriage pricked George’s heart. Tension filled their home like the hot, heavy air in a sauna. Jacin’s fervent apologies and guilt-fueled acts of redemption managed only to push the thorn in further, reminding George of Jacin’s deception.
Banished from their bed, Jacin lay outright on the living couch, an old floral bed sheet draped over his body, and Hansel and Gretel (their two dachshunds) curled up at his feet. Stephen King’s Desperation was propped open on his chest. As Jacin read: "It was not terror this thought called up in his mind and heart but despair, as if the image of Brian’s fingers laced together in his coffin proved that nothing was worth anything, that doing never once in the world stopped dying ..." his mind drifted to the memory of that frightening day eight years earlier when he rushed Jody, his then-roommate, to the hospital after she collapsed on the Gallivan Center ice rink, her knee popped out of its socket. At the time Jody didn’t carry health insurance and because of the doctor’s persistent recommendation for surgery they agreed to a shotgun City Hall wedding and an update to Jacin’s health insurance policy. The marriage was to be annulled shortly after Jody’s surgery, but because of certain hurdles in obtaining an annulment in Utah, they continually postponed it. Then, by the year’s end, they realized the tax break for married couples was worth staying married ... at least for the time being. And as years passed, the tax refunds outweighed the annulment.
Then, when Jacin and George first met each other at a mutual friend’s Halloween party, their attraction was as mysterious and brooding as the night. Jacin arrived with Eddie and Josh dressed as the original crime-fighting trio, Charlie’s Angels. George, a vampire who resembled the saddlebag-skinned George Hamilton in Love at First Bite, was quickly taken by Josh’s attire. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought to himself, "Sabrina looks like a haggard, butch Russian wrestler." As the night progressed, they walked circles around each other, sizing each other up. Finally, excitement erupted, breaking fever in their groins. They embraced, lips locking in each other’s essence. Those in the room around them disappeared from existence one at a time until Jacin and George were left alone, weightless and fused in passion.
After they returned to earth, and Marilyn Monroe, Tinkerbell, merman and others redeveloped like photos, Jacin took George’s hand and led him out to his Ford Bronco. They barreled into the backseat, giggling mischievously. They tore at each other’s costumes like rabid dogs, the stiff October air biting at their bare skin. Jacin leaned forward between the front seats, popped open the glove compartment and fumbled for a condom. Three minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, heaving chests and deep satisfied breaths had fogged the windows beyond transparency. As they lain wrapped in each other’s arms on the backseat, Jacin felt the urge to tell George of his marriage to Jody, but as the words reached his lips, they immediately disappeared. Each passing day since, the words failed to reappear.
Now George sat in bed, knees up near his chest and arms resting on them. He stared blankly at the platinum and white gold wedding band radiating from its velvet ring box resting in his hands. He thought about the man he loved who, at this moment, was 40 feet away on the couch; and he thought about the night that first began their life together. With the exception of a handful of verbal standoffs about flirting with other guys, looking at internet porn and leaving shoes in the middle of the room, George believed their love was seamless and eternal ... until now. He suddenly snapped the box shut, turned off the bedside lamp and definitively decided to return the ring the next morning.
Just as George was drifting off, the bedroom door creaked open. He opened his eyes and could only make out a beaten down silhouette of Jacin standing in the doorway.
"I love you George ... more than I know how to show you. I’m really sorry I kept the marriage from you all these years, but it’s such an old part of my past I never even think about it anymore."
George rolled over in the bed so his back faced Jacin, as if building a wall to protect himself from anymore pain.
Jacin continued, "We have a good life even with our problems, and our love for each other is strong enough to overcome the problems. This is our life ... I’ll fight for it and I hope you will, too."
Jacin hoped for a response, but none came so he slowly shut the bedroom door behind him on his way back to the couch.
To be continued…
Banished from their bed, Jacin lay outright on the living couch, an old floral bed sheet draped over his body, and Hansel and Gretel (their two dachshunds) curled up at his feet. Stephen King’s Desperation was propped open on his chest. As Jacin read: "It was not terror this thought called up in his mind and heart but despair, as if the image of Brian’s fingers laced together in his coffin proved that nothing was worth anything, that doing never once in the world stopped dying ..." his mind drifted to the memory of that frightening day eight years earlier when he rushed Jody, his then-roommate, to the hospital after she collapsed on the Gallivan Center ice rink, her knee popped out of its socket. At the time Jody didn’t carry health insurance and because of the doctor’s persistent recommendation for surgery they agreed to a shotgun City Hall wedding and an update to Jacin’s health insurance policy. The marriage was to be annulled shortly after Jody’s surgery, but because of certain hurdles in obtaining an annulment in Utah, they continually postponed it. Then, by the year’s end, they realized the tax break for married couples was worth staying married ... at least for the time being. And as years passed, the tax refunds outweighed the annulment.
Then, when Jacin and George first met each other at a mutual friend’s Halloween party, their attraction was as mysterious and brooding as the night. Jacin arrived with Eddie and Josh dressed as the original crime-fighting trio, Charlie’s Angels. George, a vampire who resembled the saddlebag-skinned George Hamilton in Love at First Bite, was quickly taken by Josh’s attire. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought to himself, "Sabrina looks like a haggard, butch Russian wrestler." As the night progressed, they walked circles around each other, sizing each other up. Finally, excitement erupted, breaking fever in their groins. They embraced, lips locking in each other’s essence. Those in the room around them disappeared from existence one at a time until Jacin and George were left alone, weightless and fused in passion.
After they returned to earth, and Marilyn Monroe, Tinkerbell, merman and others redeveloped like photos, Jacin took George’s hand and led him out to his Ford Bronco. They barreled into the backseat, giggling mischievously. They tore at each other’s costumes like rabid dogs, the stiff October air biting at their bare skin. Jacin leaned forward between the front seats, popped open the glove compartment and fumbled for a condom. Three minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, heaving chests and deep satisfied breaths had fogged the windows beyond transparency. As they lain wrapped in each other’s arms on the backseat, Jacin felt the urge to tell George of his marriage to Jody, but as the words reached his lips, they immediately disappeared. Each passing day since, the words failed to reappear.
Now George sat in bed, knees up near his chest and arms resting on them. He stared blankly at the platinum and white gold wedding band radiating from its velvet ring box resting in his hands. He thought about the man he loved who, at this moment, was 40 feet away on the couch; and he thought about the night that first began their life together. With the exception of a handful of verbal standoffs about flirting with other guys, looking at internet porn and leaving shoes in the middle of the room, George believed their love was seamless and eternal ... until now. He suddenly snapped the box shut, turned off the bedside lamp and definitively decided to return the ring the next morning.
Just as George was drifting off, the bedroom door creaked open. He opened his eyes and could only make out a beaten down silhouette of Jacin standing in the doorway.
"I love you George ... more than I know how to show you. I’m really sorry I kept the marriage from you all these years, but it’s such an old part of my past I never even think about it anymore."
George rolled over in the bed so his back faced Jacin, as if building a wall to protect himself from anymore pain.
Jacin continued, "We have a good life even with our problems, and our love for each other is strong enough to overcome the problems. This is our life ... I’ll fight for it and I hope you will, too."
Jacin hoped for a response, but none came so he slowly shut the bedroom door behind him on his way back to the couch.
To be continued…
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